I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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