nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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