You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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