Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
