Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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