White coat. Heels.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
