I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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