I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Duck Duck Cougar?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
