Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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