you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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