so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
