you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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