Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
