is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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