I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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