Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
