I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
