I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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