You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
