I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
