So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
