Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
