She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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