btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize