What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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