While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
