whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
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My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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