why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
