You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
