i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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