Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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