champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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