I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
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Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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