Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
did you just send me my own nude
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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