Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
