week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
