When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
