I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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