And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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