the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize