Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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