...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
