What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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