Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
