I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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