Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
