He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love black thongs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
