Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
