i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
