i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
