He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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