well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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