This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
