Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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