the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
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Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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