she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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