Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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