My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
