BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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